I was 13 years old on a blazing hot summer day playing freeze tag with my cousins in front of my house. My mom was sitting on a stoop nearby, talking to a neighbor, but still maintaining a watchful eye on us.
Everything was fine, until I heard three loud bangs. Instantly, my mother’s demeanor changed and she screamed, “Get inside, now!”
I was confused and annoyed that my game of freeze tag got cut short. But my mother’s authority made me hurry toward the house. As I stepped inside, I asked her what was the matter, but all she responded was, “Don’t worry about it, they’re just fireworks. How about we continue playing inside?”
Looking back on it now, I know those weren’t fireworks. They were never just fireworks.
That day was the beginning of my realization there was something bigger going on, but I didn’t fully understand it. Gun violence wasn't something the adults explained.
As I got older, I began to lose classmates to the rampant gun violence in my community. Often, they were either going to or coming from school when they were shot.
It made me think twice. Sometimes I would take a completely different route to avoid certain situations. A bus stop is just a bus stop until a classmate dies while standing there.
I grew up in North Philadelphia, in the Kensington area. It’s nicknamed the “badlands” because of the gun violence, drug violence, and other violence that sometimes happens there. Despite the less-than-ideal circumstances, I could tell you everything I love about it: the food, the culture, the diversity, the hardworking, real people who live there and raise their families. I can’t imagine growing up anywhere else.
I moved to Glenside during my freshman year of college at Arcadia University to study media and communications and started living on campus full time. It's less than 10 miles away in a smaller, quieter area. A lot of the urban issues I used to experience are rare here. But despite the change of scenery, growing up in Philadelphia made me realize that violence exists. And that's not something you can just forget.
There are so many things happening in Philly that need to change. If it weren't for the things I saw as a kid, I wouldn't have my drive and my passion for change, and I wouldn't be where I am now. I’ve used the experiences I had growing up as a reason to get involved with anti-gun violence prevention causes, because I know what it’s like to live in a threatening environment.
No kid deserves to feel unsafe — not on their own block, not in their school, not in their neighborhood.
This past year I had the opportunity to work on a documentary on the impacts of gun violence with PBS News Student Reporting Labs. It’s given me space to reflect on and share my experiences. I’m extremely proud to share one story of an average city kid affected by gun violence.
I hope other kids who experience these sorts of things know they have a voice. If I were to go back in time and tell younger me that his voice mattered, it would’ve blown his mind.
As a student producer for this documentary, I also interviewed Dr. Jessica Beard, a trauma surgeon at Temple University and the director of research at the Philadelphia Center for Gun Prevention. As someone who has experienced gun violence within my own community, it was enlightening to see research on this topic.
She shared some evidenced-based solutions to things I’ve seen in my neighborhood.
“The things that seem to prevent firearm homicide are universal background checks and permit to purchase,” Dr. Beard told me. “Other policies that are effective to prevent unintentional injury and firearm suicide are child access prevention laws and extreme risk protection orders. I think one concern that people feel is that this is political. But the truth is that we have evidence that these things can save lives.”
When asked what she would say to people like me growing up around gun violence, she said, “We are living in the time where there's attention being paid to it. Keep in your mind that you don't have to live like this, and that we can prevent gun violence.”
After the interview, I felt seen and heard, and it was amazing talking to a researcher who studies a topic that’s so close to home for me. And I left feeling more hopeful for the future of gun violence prevention.
Working on this documentary has allowed me to talk about a serious issue that impacts communities like mine. Bringing awareness to gun violence isn’t something everyone wants to hear, but we can’t do anything about it if we ignore the problem all together. These conversations are important, because people’s lives are important.
I just hope anyone who watches the film and grew up in a similar situation to me doesn’t feel so alone anymore.
Run, Hide, Fight: Growing up under the gun, from PBS News Student Reporting Labs premieres October 9 on the PBS News YouTube channel, PBS app, and PBS.org.
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