The final episode of The Summer I Turned Pretty season 3, and the series in full, was everything we could've wanted.
Jenny Han must have known that we would still want more, though, because just hours after the eleventh episode of the season dropped on Prime Video, she announced that the series would continue with a feature film.
To call this season and its competition a rollercoaster is a drastic understatement, but The Summer I Turned Pretty season 3 officially has a power rankings winner. All season long, your favorite Teen Vogue editors have been taking control of the scoreboard and making wagers on who Belly would choose at the end of the series: Conrad, Jeremiah, or herself? TSITP season 3 has felt like our Super Bowl, and accordingly, we've been offering some ESPN-worthy analysis of who's coming out on top.
Reminder to take all this with a grain of salt, and some good humor — obviously, The Summer I Turned Pretty is about much more than which guy Belly chose. The reason fans, including us, were so obsessed is because of the heart in this show; the drama pulled you in, but you stayed for the nostalgia, the friendships, the growing pains — and the wrenching reminder that every summer ends.
Nevertheless, it was incredibly fun to enjoy the lightheartedness of the show, and to get deeply invested in the lives and decisions of fictional characters while speculating about what they'll do next. (And as the Summer I Turned Pretty social media accounts reminded fans, that investment doesn't include hate speech, targeting actors or crew, or harassment.)
Below, a rotating group of Teen Vogue editors unpacked each episode from TSITP's third season and measured how Team Jeremiah, Team Conrad, and Team Belly fared. We also assigned arbitrary points for good and bad behavior. (Don't think too hard about the math!)
For our criteria, we analyzed how happy Belly seemed in a given episode, who treated her the best, who was the least annoying, and how other characters perceived her relationships. (Oh, and we considered episode-to-episode hotness — physical and emotional — as well.)
Season 3, Episode 11: “At Last”
P. Claire Dodson, Assoc. Culture Director: Ugh watching Belly act so detached when Conrad arrives is so painful, she hides her emotions and people believe her
Sara Delgado, Editor-at-Large: “I like your hair” — We’ve come so far since “I liked you better with glasses”!
Jillian Selzer, Senior Social Media Manager: Thank God he didn’t flee when he saw Benito, that’s what the old Conrad would’ve done +250
Kaitlyn McNab, Culture Editor: Oh Connie baby❤️🩹 Damn, not even an invite inside — the boundaries are strong she’s a new woman! (All I know is that I would’ve folded like an envelope if an old flame did this for me on my birthday eve)
Selzer: Why do I actually love the concept of Chef Jeremiah
Aiyana Ishmael, Associate Editor: Not gonna lie, every day I mourn season 1 Jeremiah and this kitchen scene reminded me of that.
Delgado: I kinda love this chef arc for Jere but it’s so sudden… I don’t think we’ve seen him hold a pot in all these seasons. He was always just drinking people’s leftover milks… Would have loved a bit more to fully buy it!
McNab: I love this new level of communication between the brothers
Delgado: Ok, love that he’s psychoanalyzing with Denise, but he needs to go see an actual therapist as well…
McNab: I love that Denise and Taylor are gentle with Jeremiah but do not coddle him
Ishmael: I’d watch 4 seasons of Belly’s life in Paris. I think what we were missing all season was life away from Cousins and Finch.
Delgado: Conrad being the one to inspire Belly to push through in Paris… If that’s not a cosmic connection!
Selzer: Conrad talk medical talk to me bb girl
McNab: I love hot boys who say words like Sisyphean in natural conversation +5000
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Ishmael: Chat I don’t want Belly and Conrad to end up together and I don’t know how to feel about that (as a loyal decade-long Bonrad stan) Like, no, Belly! Conrad needs to get on that train at 8 o’clock!! He don’t need to intrude on your alleged new life
McNab: I’m already crying and all she did was invite him to the birthday dinner
Delgado: Ok, he’s invited. +10 for Belly for taking initiative! And Belly looks HOT in that dress. +100000000
McNab: Oh sh*t ISABEL IS A BAD B*TCH
Ishmael: Belly moving to Paris and taking on a red lip is so funny. This not even you for real, you’re a pinky pink nude lip girl and we all know it!
Dodson: I love seeing Conrad with all her friends!!! He fits right in also lol that Clovis made it on her birthday guest list
Selzer: Connie slowly realizing Belly belongs in Paris is making my heart slowly break
Delgado: Conrad move to Paris, babe. You both fit right in and look so happy here.
Delgado: “Pórtate bien” Belly trilingual queen
Dodson: Lmaoooo that sensual photograph Benito gives her, Conrad wants to d*e
Delgado: Conrad calling her Isabel now… I see I see I see
Alyssa Hardy, Style Director: This scene with friends is very sweet. Not making anything about him being there and letting them lead the way. That’s a good husband.
Selzer: CONFIRMATION BELLY DUMPED BENITO!!!!
Delgado: Benito being a hater because he’s salty he lost her lol
Ishmael: Not Benito trying to big dawg Conrad…. Baby I don’t dislike you, but don’t come at my boy like that! I’ll fight you.
McNab: The look Benito is giving Conrad across this table with the line delivery of calling him a villain is CHEF’S KISS.
Dodson: I love that everyone finds a way to address their past mistakes in this episode
McNab: +1000000 points to Belly for owning her villain role
McNab: This d*ck measuring contest between Connie and Bennie is 😭😭😭
Ishmael: This feels like a new show in all the best ways and it makes me kinda sad we can’t consistently get this ensemble in a spinoff. I’ll always love my YA TSITP but the New Adult version of this show would also have been so fun to experience at least one more season of. Mourning what won’t be, unless…. Jenny Han!?
Delgado: How much champagne did they buy for this wedding???
Dodson: Jeremiah owning up about letting belly skip Paris!!! Good for him recognizing his patterns, I did really like him in this episode and I’m rooting for him and Denise
Hardy: I was team Jere and Denise since last episode. I like it.
McNab: I appreciate Denise calling Jeremiah’s Conrad obsession out! And Jeremiah talking about never really being alone >>>>>>>>> growth
Delgado: Back to Paris — “Are you going to unwrap him later?” OH MY GOD… but please do
Delgado: Bruh the season 1 parallels my heart can’t take it! They literally have memorized every single thing they have said TO EACH OTHER
Selzer: Adam get off my screen and go right into the garbage
McNab: Adam being like “Why do you think I think you’re a dumbass???” is level 10 gaslighting lmao
Delgado: Adam said one sentence to Jere and we are all healed. Took them 3 seasons but we got basic communication nailed down now!
Selzer: Honestly I’m giving Jere his flowers +3000 points for finding your passion, pookie
Ishmael: Belly and Conrad dancing by the Siene, K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Dodson: “Dress” !!! Great use of it for this steamy Belly scene
Delgado: “Dress” is the needle drop of needle drops. OK BONRAD KISSSSSSS! Not her guiding his hands! I AM BLUSHING.
Dodson: I like that the old Taylor songs that soundtracked Belly/Conrad did not come up again this episode like some fans predicted — like “The Way I Loved You” they needed new ones!!
McNab: “I want to do it.” UGH HOT. “I dream about this. You.” UGH HOTTER!!!
Hardy: Conrad and Belly getting together was WORTH THE WAIT. Giggling and kicking my feet. The chemistry!!!! Conrad might have been giving a little desperate which made me nervous for this inevitable scene but nope 🫡
McNab: “I used to wish for you every birthday.” “Now you’re stuck with me forever.” I AM A PUDDLE
Delgado: So it’s now 1:30am. This man is just never going to Brussels I guess and we love that.
Ishmael: No, Conrad! Skipping the first day of the conference is a bad idea. Losing yourself in Belly all over again is the terrible cycle we’re trying to break
Hardy: Ok I’m genuinely surprised to see Belly articulate this fear. She has certainly grown and this shows it.
Delgado: Ok, now +1000 points to Belly because that’s a very valid concern, the forced love versus real love conundrum and I feel like we have all been discussing it this season but, c’mon, we know this connection started before Susannah even said a thing… If anything I think her words only brought Jere into the equation when he was never supposed to be there
Selzer: Listen I’m crying too Connie baby let it all out
Dodson: Wow I love that Conrad/Belly just finally had it out about Susannah’s impact — Belly asking the questions on everyone’s mind, and both of them really reckoning with that
Delgado: Okay, +100000000 to Conrad for that speech. He is SURE.
Selzer: Thank God it only took her two seconds to realize she was being ridiculous +5000 for timeliness and efficiency
Ishmael: Ah, yes! The great chase. An important moment in any coming of age story. I didn’t want it but a part of me is happy Belly is going to find Conrad, one more time
Hardy: Points to Belly for staying up all night with… activities… having a meltdown realizing it's too late, changing into a cute little outfit and still making it to the train.
Delgado: BRB crying she put on the necklace!!!!!!
Ishmael: Legally, I feel like Belly and Conrad should just stay in Paris forever— Well, too late. They’re back in Cousins.
Dodson: Oh I’m crying, she’s back in the window of the car on the way to Cousins
Selzer: Seeing a 22 year old and a 24 year old walking into their inherited Beach Mansion pains me as a 30-year-old living in a rental in Brooklyn but I digress
Dodson: Yay Belly in her Christmas pajamas!!!
Delgado: Omg the same PJs from that Xmas. I love that we get to see their relationship beyond summer even with this little peek. Junior mint in every pic is sending me
Selzer: No reunion scene for all of them together???? Injustice
Dodson: I’m surprised we didn’t get a true epilogue here and I’m wondering if we’re going to get like a surprise drop episode… am I delusional? Like where was Susannah’s Belly letter? Or Jeremiah’s ?
Delgado: “Maybe we’ll meet again one summer in cousins” Jenny…. Are you teasing a spinoff?
Hardy: Echoing everyone else.. Jenny didn’t end it here right? RIGHT? Like where do they live? What does Laurel think? They are gorgeous and if that’s what we get fine but I genuinely feel something more is coming?
Season 3, Episode 10: “Last Year”
Sara Delgado, Editor-at-Large: Before we even hit play… Holy moly, this episode is so long! Jenny Han has blessed us!
Kaitlyn McNab, Culture Editor: So it’s been about 3 months and she’s still not anywhere near even remotely fluent…
Alyssa Hardy, Style Director: Belly love you girl but leave the stuffing out of this!!
Delgado: “Genocidal holiday” — I CAN’T
Hardy: The want to be different is something so many people experience after high school and Belly missed that completely. It’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself but really rewarding to see her recognize it.
P. Claire Dodson, Assoc. Culture Director: I love that the friends call her Isabel, it really is like she’s a different person
Delgado: THREE MONTHS and her French is still rusty af — Belly, please, get it together -10… Also, is she still on tourist visa? Or has she looked into that properly?
Hardy: Ew Jeremiah ew. Like he is unwatchable at this point.
Delgado: Not Jere already hooking up with someone else… AND of course it’s someone who already has a thing with someone else in the group. Does he always have to date someone emotionally connected to somebody else? -1000
Dodson: Jere just doing bisexual demon shit
Hardy: Ladies and gentlemen we have a new two-tiered mirror glazed. Now welcoming: the ricer into the zeitgeist
Delgado: So… everyone can’t stand Jere now… This is your sign to change things up, my boy.
Dodson: Not the wedding champagne!!!!! YIKES though Jere is not working and he’s not a student??? His complete lack of shame is soooooo wild
Delgado: Adam is still the worst but he’s being so so so funny sorry lol the champagne? pure comedy.
Delgado: Some points for Jere for standing up to Adam FINALLY even if it was not the right time or right way. +10
Dodson: “I’m not your mother” Denise says, resigning herself to being his mother
Delgado: Ok, Conrad gets points for still trying to reach out to his brother… but not too many. +10.
Hardy: Any scene with Conrad and his mother in law are right for me.
Dodson: “F*ck you uncertainty sucks” so true Connie baby
McNab: My therapy sessions and Conrad’s therapy sessions sound eerily similar LMFAOOO
Hardy: Conrads letter addressed her growth but he sure is nostalgic about her past, I’m excited to see how he handles the change
Delgado: His mind immediately going to hand-penned letters as a way to reconnect… Romance is not dead! +1000 also “I hope Paris is everything you dreamed it would be” I will cry
Delgado: Omg, Belly hasn’t texted Jere since the wedding! Good for her and her boundaries. +100
McNab: Okay jawline… I’m listening Benito… Yeah, a few verses of Neruda in Spanish was 100% enough to impress THIS American girl.
Delgado: BENITO! And speaking Spanish!? Points to him and her, honestly. Did she understand him reciting Neruda? Does she know more Spanish than French? Not her kicking this man out… I CAN’T WITH SAVAGE BELLY. Oh, never mind she’s going with him. +10!
Delgado: So… does Belly have a thing for being taught how to handle means of transportations? First Conrad with the bike, then Jere with the car, and now Benny with the Vespa…
Delgado: +1000 to Jere for apologizing to Lauren even though he is still being a little too childish to my liking. Also Jere might be a food snob but those carrots sound gooooood +100 to him
Delgado: This Conrad and Taylor friendship makes so much sense. +100 to each! BUT THAT EVIL “HO HO HO” — I can’t stand Adam lol
Hardy: Jere and denise works for me because she won’t take his BS
Delgado: Not Denise keeping him around so he cooks for her. Can’t blame her! Also comes in with the advice that Jere needed. Live and let live! Something just awoke inside him. +100 for growth
Dodson: “I’m too clever to fail” LOVE Denise
Dodson: I'm so happy Taylor came to Belly in Paris, she needed someone from home. Also her smirk as Belly kisses Benito, so funny
McNab: Taylor and her Telfars >>>
McNab: Taylor’s beret >>>>
McNab: Belly with that aggressive ass collar grab kiss lmao
Dodson: The Susannah flashback — “You’ve always been a girl who knows her own heart” that’s nice
McNab: Jeremiah is hotter now that he’s not with Belly anymore
Delgado: A reunion over their mom’s grave. Dramatic but Susannah being the one to bring them back together is so prophetic. Also first time we hear Conrad outwardly confess it bothered him that Jere and Belly got together so quickly after their breakup!!!
Dodson: Ugh I'm so happy Jere and Conrad are FINALLY communicating. Also: “as if a ring could make someone yours” Hell yeah Connie
Delgado: +1000 for each Fisher boy for talking it out! And extra +1000 to Jere for admitting that Conrad and Belly’s connection was always extra special.
Hardy: So glad she stayed in Paris!!! Overalls girls rise up
Dodson: Benito/Belly very steamy
Delgado: I love that she’s still with Benito but she’s not fully absorbed into the relationship. You put yourself first, girl!! +100 And Belly writing back to Conrad with the Sacré-Cœur peeking through in the background of her window? The Sabrina parallels are SO intense this season!
Delgado: Omg, Conrad's going to Belgium!!!!???? LITERALLY SO CLOSE TO FRANCE. HE CHANGED HIS FLIGHT TO BE DIRECT TO PARIS FOR A KIDNEY AND GOT STUCK IN A MIDDLE SEAT AND YET INSIDE HE IS STILL THE HAPPIEST MAN ON EARTH!
Dodson: Don’t these people know you can do this booking stuff online -10 for conrad
McNab: $473 fare difference???? F*ck me
Delgado: BELLY BOB INCOMING!!!!! OUI OUI
McNab: A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life!!! Coco Chanel!!!
Season 3, Episode 9: “Last Call”
Sara Delgado, Editor-at-Large: +1000 to Belly for getting on the flight. First time she’s put herself before a Fisher.
Kaitlyn McNab, Culture Editor: Belly automatic +150 for not going to Conrad in the airport !!!!
Delgado: He might not have seen her but he felt her! Kismet!
P. Claire Dodson, Associate Culture Director: Have to laugh at Conrad processing this news … happiest guy in the world. He can barely contain a grin lmaooooo
Delgado: OMG… so Connie knows they didn’t get married. Good. He's stronger than me because I would have said “Thank God” right there and then.
Alyssa Hardy, Style Director: The “Take Me Out” needle drop when he finds out!!! They did it again
McNab: Steven is so mesmerized by Taylor ugh….. and interrupted once more by these damn Fisher boys
Ashleigh Carter, Weekend Editor: Finally, Taylor admitting that the wedding was a sham and not totally Conrad’s fault
Delgado: “If she’s not with Conrad, then where is she?” Jere only perceives Belly in proximity to his family. He thinks she’s incapable of being separated from them and the worst part is he is not wrong but that should be a big red flag!
McNab: “How’s Jeremiah?” -300 Conrad lmao like how do you THINK he's doing😭 and “Con-Rat” lmfaooooooo +150 for drunk wordplay Jere
Delgado: Wait, Taylor has been in heels this whole time? She deserves a medal!
McNab: Taylor and Steven anchoring Jeremiah is so sweet. “Wake me up if she comes back, okay?” Cryinggggg poor Jere
Aiyana Ishmael, Associate Editor: Everyone keeps yelling at Conrad…all he ever did was be sad and shut down, Jeremiah was a menace and they were coddling him.
Delgado: Belly going away just to put a bandaid over her feelings mirroring Conrad going away for the same reason. Be still, my heart.
Carter: “Big is moving to Paris” is all I could think about as Belly is on the plane
Hardy: Did no one have Belly’s location?!
Delgado: No message or calls from Jere or Conrad… Was she secretly hoping?
Dodson: A girl in Paris!!!!!! No better feeling in the world. And the “You’re On Your Own, Kid” needle drop!!
Carter: Belly look alive girl you’re at customs
Delgado: Wasn’t this girl supposed to be mostly fluent in French? Why is she struggling for her life? And so now she doesn’t have a spot, she doesn’t have a visa… what is she going to do?!
Ishmael: Belly’s French weak…. That’s why she should’ve spent more time with her hobbies than trying to get married.
Dodson: Ok I do kind of like that this is not easy for her at first, she has to troubleshoot
McNab: +500 to Belly for crying through the streets of Paris and calling her mom, real as f*ck
Carter: Let this be a lesson girl, opportunities don’t always wait for you to marry your ex’s brother at age 21! I cannot believe she still has a year of school left lmao like you were gonna get married and go back to class?!
Ishmael: Belly being embarrassed of being in Paris….. girl if you don’t eat, pray, love!
Dodson: Belly’s Misadventures in Paris. At this rate we’re getting more than one Paris episode
McNab: Seeing Belly like this, as a teenager in a foreign country, is the most grounding parallel for all of the “adult” things she was doing this season
Delgado: Belly girl… don’t sit on a terrace with all your bags that close to the street IN PARIS
Delgado: I knew she was going to get robbed the moment she sat down. At least it was only the backpack
McNab: Shout out to Steven and his air tag gift !!!!!!!
Dodson: I don’t mean to be cold hearted but I do not like seeing Jere be a big baby
Carter: Ok don’t you DARE talk to Laurel like that, Jere. She’s the only sane one here.
McNab: Jeremiah’s coldness toward Laurel is jarring and so misguided…………
Delgado: We are witnessing the start of Jere’s villain arc I guess…
Carter: Taylor is so loyal looking after Jere, it’s insane. I could never. I consider my best friend’s boyfriends more of a distant uncle figure, if anything
Delgado: “She’s not your whole life, Jere. And if she is, then she shouldn’t be.” Taylor, we forgive you for all the bad advice you have given in seasons past because you are really the MVP these past few episodes and Jere needed to hear that. He thinks Belly needs him but he needs her more.
McNab: Telling Conrad he is the problem >>>>
McNab: So ironic that Conrad pushed every single person away and now that he’s back, he f*cked up so royally that no one wants anything to do with him
Carter: All I’m thinking about is how badly Belly probably needs a shower after an international flight
McNab: +250 to Belly for chasing down her backpack and conquering the Metro, look at her exploring the city solo
Delgado: Ok, Gemma (a.k.a. Heartstopper’s Corinna Brown) to the rescue! We love a stranger with a familiar face.
Carter: “Isabel” oh she’s Isabel in Paris, huh?
Ishmael: In the club with your suitcase is a new one, my girl Belly getting the full nomad experience
Carter: Belly and her Away suitcase against the world
McNab: Belly and this f*cking Away carry on in the rave is sending me LMFAOOO
Delgado: Belly girl, you are going to get yourself kidnapped… Baby’s first European rave and she’s lugging around an Away carry-on and is glued to her find my app…
Dodson: Benito!!!! He has arrived
Delgado: OK BENITOOOOOOO maybe I’m team Benito now. Sue me.
Carter: FIGHT HIM BELLY. SHOW THESE FRENCH PEOPLE WHAT AMERICANS ARE LIKE
Dodson: Rip it off his back go go go !!! +500 to Belly
Ishmael: Belly kicking that man is actually HILARIOUS! +1828384848 points for her.
Delgado: lol okay +1000000000000 to Belly for that kick to get her bag back lol that was badass
McNab: Shout out to Belly for self defense lmao “This motherf*cker stole my bag!”
Hardy: Steven!!!!!!!!!!! Cheers applause!!!!! He knows!!! Our national nightmare is over!!!!!
Dodson: “WHO the f*ck is Lacie Barone?" Damn Steven has some real bangers +500
Delgado: Ok I expected a bit more of a crash out from Steven after finding out about Cabo, not just for him to turn it into an excuse to justify his own cheating?
Ishmael: Steven got over Jeremiah cheating too quickly… he was ready to punch Conrad for still being heartbroken and in love but ain’t gonna do nothing to the little brother?? This is favoritism, your honor!!
McNab: “Let’s talk about it.” *Makes out* lmaoooo
Delgado: Ok, I’ll let the kissing slide because now they are actually communicating. But would have loved for Taylor to actually confess she was going to go all in when she visited him at the hospital!
Dodson: We’re breaking patterns here. Okay I teared I love them
Ishmael: This season been putting us through so much, I almost forgot Steven got in that car accident.
Carter: “I feel like we’re worth it” OK SWEET! +500 points to Tay and Steven for finding their way back and communicating!!
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Dodson: Okay back to Belly — I love that she gets to tell this story in its entirety (reminds me of the TikTok trend of people telling the plot to their grandmothers and pretending it’s their friends)
Delgado: lol no way Belly told them the whole story, that’s a way to traumatize people you just met? Oh, nvm, they are not even fazed by it. She found her people I guess!
Carter: I’m gonna start calling Jeremiah “Jerry" LOL. I love the French people calling her prude, basically. +50 points to them for giving her some perspective outside of Cousins
Dodson: NO DONT CALL HIMMMMMM
Delgado: “I know who you are. I will remind you every single day. You just need to come back home” Ok, Jere with the threats disguised as niceties. People change! -1000
Hardy: The fact that he’s so upset about her wanting to find herself without him is all the issues laid out right there.
Ishmael: Jeremiah please don’t limit my girl. She said she doesn’t know who you are and you want her to go back to being that! We want Belly with hobbies and dreams and life outside of Cousins
McNab: Oh sh*t real Jere and Belly breakup. +1000 to Belly for breaking the codependency cycle and embarking on her own
Delgado: +10000000 for Belly for trying to find herself and choosing to stay
Ishmael: Belly gets 193848473 more points for staying in Paris. Amen never call that man-child again, girl!
Hardy: Him switching into a silk collared shirt and being evil Jeremiah is so funny and delicious.
Dodson: Is this whole thing gonna be J’s true villain arc?
McNab: Jere reverting to childish isolating antics in all of his hurt is so heartbreaking. Burning bridges with Belly and Conrad is so sad
Ishmael: Jeremiah nasty doesn’t look good on you, you already have those evil blue eyes! Minus 2784 points.
Delgado: Jere is being a child. I have nothing else to say. The way he treated Laurel, the way he’s now treating Conrad. And you can see it’s hurting him but he’s choosing to act this way. I need these two to sort out this relationship. You are BROTHERS.
Dodson: “How Did It End?” soundtracking the two big breakups of the summer on TV is so wild
McNab: Wow not Adam with the message tonight. That exchange with Conrad destroyed me. +100 to Conrad for listening and respecting his brother's space
Carter: Adam figured out how to be a dad right at the buzzer.
Delgado: Damn, Conrad tried so hard not to be like Adam but still ended up in the same position…
Dodson: Okay yay Adam +2 for going to your grieving son but you’re still down 1,000,000
McNab: “Rebuilding is always possible. It has to be.” +500 Bells.
Dodson: Rebuilding monologue while looking at Notre Dame…. So dramatic and also I love it
Ishmael: Belly said it’s her, that bookbag, suitcase, white tee, and jeans against the world. Can’t lie this was probably my favorite episode of the season.
Season 3, Episode 8: “Last Kiss”
Ashleigh Carter, Weekend Editor: Slept in her bow and makeup… that’s how I know she’s not grown up enough to get married. Adults wash their makeup off.
Sara Delgado, Editor-at-Large: That was the fakest “I love you” we’ve ever heard from her in that voice note……
Kaitlyn McNab, Culture Editor: Conrad GROW A SPINE!!!!!!!! STAND ON BUSINESS!!! YOU WERE NOT DRUNK! HERE YOU GO AGAIN! STOP LYING TO BELLY! THIS IS EXACTLY WHY SHE DIDN’T PICK YOU! -800
Delgado: I know a lot of us are rooting for Conrad but he really needs to stop lying every single time he opens up… She knows you were the DD, so why even try to lie? Just own it, my man. -10 And good on Belly for clocking him and being direct. +10
Carter: Belly has her defense up so hard that she can’t even see straight.
McNab: “I’m done pretending for you” — what does this mean???? Let’s cut the bullsh*t, I agree!
P. Claire Dodson, Associate Culture Director: My fists were clenched that whole Belly Conrad kitchen scene
Delgado: Belly is still lying to herself. I see… -5000
McNab: These two emotionally avoidant liars are made for each other lmao
Delgado: U2’s “With or Without You” is just PERFECT. This has to be the song Jenny Han fought super hard to get, right?
Alyssa Hardy, Style Director: Taylor is such a good friend and I know she’s doing what she thinks she needs to do here, but you can tell she doesn’t know if it’s the right thing.
Carter: Taylor is doing her best with her 21-year-old brain. Always loyal, even to a fault
McNab: Team Taylor forever. Taylor is always so well intended. “Did I do the right thing?” Ugh God bless her
Delgado: “He could blow this whole thing up” — so could you Belly and you clearly want to! I am so convinced she’s only pushing herself into this marriage with Jeremiah because of what Susannah said about picturing her with “one of her boys,” otherwise she’d have gone for someone else… #FreeBelly
McNab: The irony of Belly getting Laurel’s unconditional support at the moment she literally doesn’t know what’s best for her. And Conrad wearing black to the rehearsal dinner bc he’s grieving lmaoooooo
Carter: “The time I almost married someone while I was still in love with his brother” is the title of a 5-part TikTok series.
McNab: Jellyish is giving…. Big needing to see and talk to Carrie for reassurance right before their wedding………….
Dodson: It’s hard not to feel kind of sad for everyone involved here… Jeremiah talking about his mom and Belly in his rehearsal dinner speech, we’ve seen it all season but it’s so clear this is grief denial and it’s hard not to feel kinda bad for him even when he’s being so careless and absurd
Carter: This rehearsal dinner feels like the last supper. But with lobster rolls. And Denise.
Hardy: Jere and Belly’s speech is actually very sweet, and I think Jere seems really sincere here. This is a great set up to a fall out that will be heartbreaking.
McNab: +1000 to Jeremiah, his toast to Belly was so genuinely sweet.
Dodson: They’re all carrying so much baggage aren’t they so exhausted
Carter: LAUREL LOOKING AT CONRAD STOP ILL CRY RIGHT NOW. LAUREL!!! LAUREL DO SOMETHING! PULL THE FIRE ALARM.
Delgado: Belly finding out about Jere’s new job from Adam… This relationship is crumbling before our eyes. -10 for Jere for not telling her and +10 for Belly for confronting him about it.
Hardy: Finding out about the job at the rehearsal is wild. Like we don’t have time for this!
Carter: Conrad deciding that this will be the first time he won’t be running away from his feelings is a bonkers move but better late than never I guess?
McNab: And just like that -1000 to Jeremiah like this is nuts. We are not moving like a husband and wife unit! “If you don’t want me to I won’t do it,” and then you’ll resent her forever? Bye
Carter: Oh SH*T Jere never told belly about the job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yet she’s like “hehe no worries at all :)”
Carter: Belly…….. I’m begging you to stand up and stop trying to marry Jeremiah out of spite.
Carter: “Conrad I can’t believe you won’t get ice cream with me you piece of sh*t” - Jere
Delgado: Conrad’s hobbies being doing crosswords and staring at the moon… He is SO written by a woman. +10
Hardy: Laurel and Conrad having this moment was really important. The acknowledgement is so subtle but highlights how everyone just knows.
McNab: I’m so glad Laurel is here for Conrad in this way. He needs this kind of support.
Delgado: That “I wish…” from Conrad. He knows everything would have been different if Susannah was still there… MY HEART
Carter: Laurel’s intuition is unparalleled. But what she should have said to Connie was “just wait for the divorce, babe.”
McNab: LMFAOOOOOOOOO AT LEAST STEVEN AND DENISE WENT FOR IT
Delgado: I TOLD YOU IT WAS GIVING FRIENDS — or I guess business partners. The chemistry pre-kiss was insane, though
Carter: “Making the Bed” needle drop lets GOOOOOOOOO.
Delgado: Another perfect needle drop with “making the bed” by Olivia Rodrigo. “Another day pretending I’m older than I am / Another perfect moment that doesn’t feel like mine / Another thing I forced to be a sign…” while she gets ready for the wedding. It’s almost like the song was written for the show
Dodson: “Making the Bed” is a top tier Olivia Rodrigo song for me and I love to see it here
McNab: Jere is rightfully upset I’m so sorry. And “Unless you want out” is a crazy thing to say Tummy?????
Delgado: Jere being super overprotective and insecure. That “I don’t want to lose you” is a euphemism for “I don’t want to lose to Conrad,” I fear. -10
Dodson: Jere more concerned with killing his brother than showing Belly their love is not worth throwing away… very telling
Carter: Jeremiah’s blue eyes are scary when he’s angry.
Delgado: Again, Belly is SO waiting for someone to tell her to call off the wedding. -10
McNab: Wait, Jere missing!!! No way JEREMIAH IS THE ONE LEAVING HER AT THE ALTAR??? Shout out to him honestly know your worth king +5000!
Hardy: Steven is such a good big brother, this is really sweet.
McNab: I love when Belly and Steven act like loving siblings
Dodson: Steven such a good brother, I wish we got more belly and Steven scenes this season. Loved their chat at the restaurant earlier in the season
McNab: AND I’m so glad Steven brought up the fact that he was collateral damage to Connie disappearing to avoid Belly, like the martyr he so desperately wants to be
Delgado: This Steven and Conrad conversation is so heartbreaking. He went from being his number one supporter to… a stranger. Good on him for opening up although it was heartbreaking. He really did cut everyone off to avoid getting in the way of Jere and Belly. In hindsight, not a smart choice
McNab: Beat his ass Jeremiah!!!!!! “You’re dead to me” is so… PHEW
Hardy: Jeremiah accidentally getting Conrads letter is actually pretty devastating. I feel for him here.
Carter: TAYLORRRRRRRRRRR WITH THE TRUTH BOMB. TAYLOR +4000000000 POINTS!!!!! SHE CAME THROUGH!!!!!!
Dodson: “That’s not love that’s codependence” YESSSS. Taylor and Steven heroes of the episode
Delgado: Taylor is the realest for telling Belly she’s codependent and has lost herself in Jere. Now that is a good friend. And -100 for Belly for trying to gaslight her and deflect.
Hardy: This conversation with Belly and Taylor. Sometimes TikTok therapy is right? They are codependent and Belly is proving it.
McNab: People who need to go to therapy the most will call accountability “TikTok therapy bullsh*t” 🌝
Delgado: Steven coming for Taylor’s defense… Now kiss.
McNab: STEVEN MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR, I love love love that he is holding a mirror up to EVERYONE in this episode.
Delgado: That is a big ass ring! This is the ultimate sign of defeat from Conrad. He’s giving up her mother’s ring.
Dodson: Chris Briney Emmy nom, I’m always crying when this man is on screen
Hardy: Loving you was all worth it! BYE BYE BIRDIE! ….Bye bye me because I’m dead and crying.
Delgado: “It was worth it to me. Being with you, loving you. It was all worth it.” I CRIED. Perfect speech. He just let it all out — no more room for doubt. +10000
McNab: The forehead kiss from Connie is breaking my soul. Poor Jere. This really is so heartbreaking.
Delgado: That “I always come back. Conrad is the one who leaves” was so manipulative from Jere. -10 but “I don’t want part of you.” OUCH. Very fair for him to finally say what he’s been feeling for over four years… +10
Hardy: Why is this breakup fight between Jeremiah and Belly the most chemistry they’ve ever had?
Dodson: “I always come back. Conrad’s the one who leaves.” YIKES
Dodson: Just a boy who wants a toy all to himself. Can you ever have someone all to yourself? Can you ever have their whole heart?
McNab: Honestly, shout out to Jeremiah because he’s right though — all of this and all of his actions weren’t right, but we can pinpoint all of it: because he’s never actually felt like he’s ever truly fully been loved by Belly and he’s never felt like he’s enough.
Delgado: So he knew about Christmas and has been hung up ever since and that’s why he retaliated and cheated and was so angry. It’s so insecure. Imagine if people who’ve been in a relationship for multiple years just talked…
Delgado: That “I am finally enough.” I do feel sorry for Jere. This was never about loving her for him, it’s an internal fight with himself.
Carter: AHHHHHHHHHH BELLY FINALLY WITH THE TRUTH ABOUT HER FEELINGS.
Delgado: “You’re a part of me now. I don’t know where I end and where you begin.” Belly, that’s not the flex you meant it to be. That’s the very definition of codependency and you just called Taylor crazy for pointing that out to you. -10000
McNab: “You can’t marry me to erase him.” Now I’m bawling for all parties involved.
Delgado: That is the first thing Jere has said that is spot on and smart. +1000 for him for having the guts to vocalize it and be the one to free her from this forced wedding.
Carter: -1,000 points to Belly for never making her own decisions without being coerced into it. Coerced into going to the same college as your boyfriend. Coerced into getting married, coerced into not going to Paris, coerced into getting married at the country club. And now coerced into NOT getting married. She needs to be alone and find her own identity.
Carter: Team Paris hive, we won. 😌 Belly, I’m giving you your points back if you get on the plane.
McNab: The kismet of their gates being next to each other…. My God???
Delgado: Is she going to talk to him or let him be? I NEED EP 9!
Hardy: This airport scene is all that we could have ever asked for and more. And now I have seven days to think about it great.
Dodson: I leave this episode once again feeling pretty devastated for everyone but hey at least Belly is going to Paris!!!!! (Maybe)
Carter: Laurel is at the beach house having a glass of wine and smiling to herself. Her work here is done.
Season 3, Episode 7: “Last Hurrah”
Sara Delgado, Editor at Large: Here we goooo, I am shaking. Connie coming in with the hydrangeas… is this foreshadowing?
Delgado: Belly is in denial three days before the wedding… Not looking good for our girl. -10
Kaitlyn McNab, Culture Editor: THESE WEDDING FAVORS…… HELP
Alyssa Hardy, Style Director: Icing people at the wedding!!!! I’ve had enough.
McNab: The Ziploc of joints is—
P. Claire Dodson, Associate Culture Director: Wow Conrad so upbeat about the bachelor party it’s wild
McNab: Agreed. Wedding Ambassador Conrad is terrifying lmao
Delgado: I feel like this is going to be a recurring theme in this episode but… Belly is so tense
McNab: I’m obsessed with Belly’s Bach look!!! +50
Delgado: Ok, Belly’s bridal bikini is kind of a serve. +10
Dodson: Wow first mention of Jere’s male exes! Finally something truly gay about this show — attending your ex’s wedding
Delgado: Conrad looking at Belly at this pool hangout. My man is yearning. Plus, “This group is messy” might be the best summary of this show. Anika, you’re right, girl.
McNab: Oh my God these reception dances are actually SENDING ME. -100 to Conrad and everyone else involved LMFAO but +100 to Jeremiah for getting everyone to do it
Aiyana Ishmael, Associate Editor: +100 points for Conrad for even participating in this slow grind dance next to his brother that's marrying the love of his life
Delgado: These dances, man, I can’t. Who choreographed this? Conrad loses -100 for agreeing to participate but it’s so on brand for Jere so I’ll let him be. Throwback to that lifeguard dance from season one… Denise’s reactions to the dance are so real lol
McNab: “I don’t know what I want to do with my life I’m 21, I just know I want to be with Belly.” The problem in the flesh, ladies and gentlemen
Ishmael: "You can do better than following dad's footsteps," You're so right Connie baby +50 more points for being a good brother and not wanting Jeremiah to continue down Adam's terrible path of adultery and headassery
Delgado: That “my girl” from Jere felt so targeted. He’s noticing the awkwardness and marking his territory
McNab: SOOOO LOADED. YIKES.
Dodson: The symbolism of the vase! Something that Conrad/Belly did together smashes, Conrad tries to clean it up but belly and Jeremiah get there first… 🥲
Delgado: If you are feeling this miserable and tense before your wedding… Run. -1000 to Belly. I just want her to communicate her feelings.
Delgado: Not the mind reading not working lol sorry how more clear can it be that they are just meant to be friends?
Dodson: Conrad’s sense of honor and preserving “Jere’s night” by not starting drama…. Super hot behavior
Delgado: “Wait, does that mean that your body count is just Jeremiah and his brother? Do you ever, like, compare who's better?” Anika is all of us!!!
Dodson: God Jeremiah trying to twist the knife!!! “We’re gonna take care of each other now”
Delgado: Not Jeremiah low key threatening Conrad in the middle of his bachelor party. 🧍♀️
McNab: We moved on from “Jeremiah was a bullfrog” way too fast I'm sorry
Delgado: The way Belly immediately knows deep down it was Conrad who convinced Laurel… The call is coming from inside the house.
McNab: Crossfaded Belly is not one I want to see I’m so scared omg
Dodson: Ok honestly Jere I would have the same reaction to “We Can’t Be Friends”
Hardy: That Conrad montage while she’s dancing was so GOOD, everyone needs air.
Ishmael: THIS BONDRAD MONTAGE MY HEART
McNab: This Bonrad montage 😭😭😭😭😭😭 And “I only ever pictured Conrad" !!!!!!!!!!
Dodson: The bomb is dropped!!!!! I am crying for some reason???
Hardy: Taylor’s “F*ck” when Belly finally says Conrad’s name was so perfectly done. The realization in her face is so satisfying to me, like now we can TALK ABOUT IT!
Delgado: EXACTLY! “Everything was fine until Christmas.” Belly, did you ever stop to think that was only because you were apart from each other?!
Dodson: So like… Jeremiah was definitely stretching the truth on Lacie because he had presence of mind to lock everyone out and ignore pounding on the door??? Booooooooo
Delgado: Remember how Jere told Belly he was so out of it when he was cheating with Lacie and now Redbird is saying he was so into it that they locked everyone else out……….. Never trust a man. -1000000 to Jere
McNab: The actual RAGE on Conrad’s face. Incredible acting from Briney here
Delgado: IT IS HAPPENING!!!!!! STRAIGHT TO THE CHEST!
Dodson: Oh my god oh my god oh my god
McNab: Him asking her “Who are you?” was so painful and NECESSARY. STOP THE WEDDING CONRAD!!!!!!!!
Delgado: Chris Briney the man that you are. Goosebumps.
Ishmael: Ugh Chris Briney you will always be famous
McNab: “Don’t be with him. Don’t marry him. Be with me.” I am but a puddle
Dodson: I’ve never cried this much when a man is talking. Points to Belly for loyalty I guess but that was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo brutal
Delgado: I can’t even detract or give points here because I get why Conrad confesses even though it is messy as f*ck and I also get why Belly rejects him and in her mind Jere is the right choice, especially since it’s been four years. But girl, you need to just accept that he loved you. She is so blindsided by her own insecurities
Ishmael: “YOU AND I WERE NEVER ANYTHING” ??? Literally I can't watch this show anymore. -1000000000 points. At this point she can't marry either of them it's a disservice to them both
Hardy: Belly the unreliable narrator in full swing. In her head she knows how good Conrad has been to her but in practice she refuses. She wants to think she make the right choice so she’ll double down.
Dodson: Honestly everybody is down hundreds of points after this episode, nobody wins
Ishmael: The show is just becoming an advertisement on why you should not get married before your frontal lobe develops sksksks
Hardy: Belly get up! Run back he’s right there!!
Dodson: Ugh god “loml” one of the most devastating Taylor Swift songs of course. Looking at Conrad makes me tear up immediately now
Hardy: “Loml” came on and I gasped lol
Ishmael: I'm sad
Season 3, Episode 6: “Last Name”
Ashleigh Carter, Weekend Editor: Every Wednesday I press play on Prime Video hoping a certain wedding is called off.
P. Claire Dodson, Associate Culture Director: The cracks in their relationship are continuing to show!!! Also everyone in this family is so passive aggressive it kills me.
Carter: Imagine feeling grown up enough to get married when you’re living in your dad’s loft
Kaitlyn McNab, Culture Editor: Jeremiah always gets a free 100 points for wearing those glasses, I'm so sorry
Sara Delgado, Editor at Large: Not them suggesting Belly is a menace to share a house with. Has she learned nothing from sharing a room with Anika for four years? -10, I guess
McNab: Belly’s codependency is showing so much. yikes
Delgado: Belly narration is back!! + 1,000 to her for that
Carter: “Invite all our friends over” — girl, what friends? You’ve made your whole life Jeremiah.
Delgado: Not Jere ruining their credit score… -1,000
McNab: Jeremiah being a rich nepo baby and making horrible financial decisions tracks, lmao
Carter: Belly and Jeremiah are so embarrassing. They’re like little kids in a trench coat asking what a credit score is
Delgado: Once again Jere is caring more about his dad than Belly and it’s not sitting right with me. -10
McNab: Belly will always come second to Jeremiah’s daddy issues. -100, immediately losing the extra points he got from the glasses
Delgado: OK, Jenny Han cameo!
Carter: Jenny Han spotting!!!
Carter: Every time Belly has to do wedding-related stuff, she looks like she’s walking to her own funeral. Does she know nobody is forcing her to do this? Well, kinda, besides Jere and his blue eyes that look like they can tell the future.
Dodson: “All we need to do is cling to each other to get through this storm” is SUCH a dramatic thing to say about your wedding day — red flags all around.
Carter: THIS STORM? As in, your WEDDING??? A supposed HAPPY DAY?
Alyssa Hardy, Style Director: OK, why can’t they make lobster rolls for the wedding? You’re in Massachusetts
McNab: Anatomical heart ice sculpture………? BYE
Dodson: Jeremiah is Realizing Things, and thank goodness for that
Delgado: The panic in Jeremiah’s eyes when Belly said she’s having second thoughts… He wants to lock her down so badly. -10
Delgado: OK, Belly was so real for complaining about the wedding slipping out of her hands, and that “I don’t even know 100 people” is real, so +1,000 to her.
Delgado: Never mind, she’s under Jeremiah’s spell — a.k.a. brainwashed. I take those points back.
McNab: YACHT FORMAL? BYE!!!!! Plus, “We’re basically done” while Belly is quite literally drowning in planning and decisions…
McNab: Kayleigh bomb about to drop, omfg
Delgado: Conrad leaving food for Belly with a little note? +10,000,000
Dodson: She hates this man’s chicken, lmao
Carter: Conrad, sweet baby boy, why do you keep doing the good thing? +100 to Conrad for being Susannah’s number one boy.
Dodson: I love the Laurel/Conrad dynamic — so wholesome, and I love that they can just say what they mean and be direct with each other.
Delgado: Connie and Laurel, now that is “in-law” chemistry. I love that he did this to make Belly happy, even if it hurts his soul. +10,000
Hardy: While I get it, it does feel absurd that Laurel is boycotting. Conrad is right about Laurel. Of course he is.
McNab: Let’s talk about how this young man has so much more emotional intelligence than most of the adults in this show at the moment
Delgado: Laurel is the founder of Team Anti-Jere, actually
McNab: “What about you Conrad, when do you get to be happy?” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Dodson: Ouch
Delgado: OUCH
Carter: LAURELLLLLLL!!!!! I did start crying at their reunion. Maybe her being back in Belly’s life means she’ll come to her goddamn SENSES.
McNab: “Time After Time” needle drop for Laurel and Belly >>>>>>>>>>>
Delgado: Laurel, stop the wedding!!!!!! Don't give in!!!
Hardy: Even though I knew Laurel was going to be there, the way I just instantly wept. Perfect scene.
Delgado: OK, love seeing Belly and Laurel reunite, and I feel like she gained infinite aura points for just accepting it and not being stubborn — but I also need her to know Conrad is behind all this!
Dodson: +50 points for Conrad fixing the Laurel/Belly situation, and +10 Belly keeping her name out of homage to her mom
Carter: +50 to Laurel for being the bigger person even when her daughter is acting crazy
Carter: Who needs enemies when you have relationship advice from Taylor?
Delgado: It’s so clear that Jere wants Adam and Connie wants Belly…. Do we think Jere would have even tried anything with Belly if Adam had given him even an ounce of attention growing up?
Delgado: Jere saying he knew Laurel would come around… Ehm, you tried, but she didn’t. He must know who’s pulling strings, surely.
Dodson: Not Jeremiah almost smiling about Conrad getting fired!!! He wants him to fail so bad
Delgado: Not Adam making it official with this woman… Minus 1,000 to Conrad for not snapping. He’s better than me.
McNab: Adam is a piece of sh*t. Point blank, period. I need his boys to jump him.
Delgado: Jere asking if Conrad has a plus one and then trying to set him up with Anika for a fling is FOUL. You know. -1,000
McNab: Conrad doesn’t want to make a play at Anika, he wants to make a play at the BRIDE, BABE
Dodson: Belly spiraling about this memory with Jere and Conrad — break up with him, girlie!!!
Hardy: The dog being an eye-opening moment is so funny to me
Dodson: The Rosie story is a good reminder that Belly can be an unreliable narrator — even she doesn’t always know what’s real or not real
McNab: Do we think Belly is going to leave Jere at the altar??????????
Carter: TAYLOR SWIFT’S “FALSE GOD” STARTS PLAYING!!!!!
Dodson: The heartbeat — she’s coming back to life after flatlining!!!!! And cue the Taylor Swift
Hardy: That final scene I PUMPED MY FISTS IN THE AIR. Also the ring being crooked is so great. Subtle but telling.
Carter: This might be the only time I’ve ever rooted for cheating. +100 points to almost cheating with your fiancè’s brother
Delgado: That “False God” needle drop… Is it next week yet?!
Season 3, Episode 5: “Last Dance”
Kaitlyn McNab, Culture Editor: CONRAD VOICEOVERRRRRRR! OTIS REDDINGGGGGGG!
Sara Delgado, Editor at Large: Conrad touching her hair during the hug as a direct callback to the moment after the bonfire from season one. Screaming!
Alyssa Hardy, Style Director: This opening scene!!! That's what YA romance is made of BABY! +10 to Team Conrad
Aiyana Ishmael, Associate Editor: Need someone to edit “Satisfied” from Hamilton on top of this opening scene between Belly and Conrad, though….
P. Claire Dodson, Associate Culture Director: This man should not be on a roof in his current state!
Ishmael: Conrad gets 10+ points for this rooftop shirtless with a hammer
McNab: +1,000,000 to Conrad for being insanely hot and tan and doing men’s work on that roof
Dodson: Belly's learning valuable information here.... He's handy, he can bake, the points are amassing for Conrad
Delgado: “My brother’s wife” — ugh, that hurt
Ishmael: “Hey, future brother-in-law” — Belly please be serious for 15 seconds! -50 points for Belly, 'cause girl, what kinda game we playing (you know where home is!)?
Dodson: Don't make her take the bike!! -2 points to Conrad
Ishmael: Honestly, everyone is making me angry. Conrad, sweetie, you can’t give your “sister-in-law” a ride and now she on a bike?? Either tell her you’re still in love and can’t be around her or act normal, my guy! -5 points for being annoying
Dodson: I mean c'mon, child Conrad taught her how to ride a bike??? Jere doesn't stand a chance
McNab: All the Motown and Soul in this episode is a clear sign that Bonrad wins in the end, because true love sounds like an R&B song
Hardy: The bike ride scene is so good, this episode is pain. +50 to Team Conrad
McNab: “I’ll just jog behind you” — they don’t make men like this anymore.
Delgado: Jere caring more about his father than Belly, -10… Then +10 to Jere for clocking the numbers were off. Gotta give credit where credit is due
Dodson: The cake scene 😞 There is just absolutely no reason they should be getting married, and I feel like the show isn't really offering up enough of a reason why
Ishmael: Both Belly and Jeremiah are exhausting. They’re rushing into this marriage when neither are ready. Like, babes, if you can’t afford a $700 cake maybe we should hold our horses a bit
Dodson: So much Conrad lore!! Moderating a LOTR subreddit as a teen, lol
McNab: +100,000 for Geek Conrad!
McNab: (I hate the power of a good tan on a white boy)
McNab: Episode 5 is the episode where I fell in love with Conrad Fisher (and Chris Briney)
Delgado: Jere is being so annoying about the cakeeee. Y’all don’t have the funds! -100 for Team Jeremiah. Who knew this boy cared so much about cacao???
Dodson: Not Jere being a cake snob!!! "You said each of us get one thing," like she's his mom and he's begging. Pathetic
Ishmael: “The cake is my one thing. You said we each get one thing!” Sir, y’all ARE BROKE
Ishmael: Mind you he’s already in debt and prepared to go more in debt over a cake…. -500 points, because babes, you’re not ready for marriage!
Delgado: Belly gets +100 for being honest about her frustrations about the wedding planning and Jere not being around to help, when these details are not even her priority
Ishmael: I’m sorry, there’s no world where I'm having a wedding without my mother…. Belly, my sweet, young, girl, please stop this asinine wedding planning!
Ishmael: At this point I genuinely want everyone to not be with each other. Like, let’s all start fresh. I’m so serious.
McNab: I desperately needed Conrad to be honest with someone about him losing his job, so I’m really glad it was with Belly
Ishmael: Conrad actually gets -50 points from me for his lack of boundaries. You claim to still love this woman and are wrecking your own mental health to help her plan a wedding you know shouldn’t happen. Have some self-respect, king. He’s supposed to be the mature one in this equation! And sorry, it's kinda lame for Belly to do this with her ex-boyfriend
Hardy: The Royel Otis version of “Linger” during the Michaels scene???!?!!! ACTUAL PAIN. GLORIOUS HEART HURT PAIN. +100,000 for Team Conrad
McNab: Belly and Conrad are always having a moment in a party-and-crafts store <3
Ishmael: The use of “Linger” is perfect because Conrad is such a fool for Belly and he needs to stand up.
Dodson: The first nice thing Adam has ever said to Jere... and it doesn't even feel true. Honestly, -100 points to Adam for throwing his support just to control the budget
McNab: Nah, the peach scene is insannnnnnnnnne.
Hardy: THE PEACH SCENE? LORD. Sorry, there's too much pining to really, really good music in this episode for me not to all caps. “Wild Horses”!! PLEASE!!! +32,746,787 to Team Conrad
Dodson: Conrad watching Belly eat the peach... I love watching a man pine
Dodson: Best thing to be done with a peach on screen since Call Me By Your Name
Delgado: Wiping her mouth with his shirt. He is crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. And that was hot. +100
Hardy: She and Jere have fun but THE CHEMISTRY between her and Conrad... you can't beat it. +10,000 for Conrad
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Delgado: Belly looks so happy cooking and having dinner with Conrad, +200 for her. It’s been a while since we’ve seen her this relaxed.
Dodson: I'm enjoying this episode because, ultimately, whatever Jeremiah's faults, he's just not right for Belly. Conrad and Belly have this rapport that's so easy and genuine and clear. Belly and Jere are forcing what should have just stayed a friendship
Ishmael: Belly is DIABOLICAL for referencing those flowers knowing what happened in that flashback, omg??? -58,684,939 points for her
Delgado: And here comes Jere… The way Belly completely transforms around him not sitting right with me…
Dodson: The nail gun line, LMAO
McNab: Belly needs to fix her hero complex for Jeremiah at the same time Conrad fixes his hero complex for her and his brother
Delgado: Jere is low-key being a master gaslighter with this whole dad is paying for the wedding and bringing all of his buddies spiel…….. -10. And Belly just agreeing to it with that little pushback? -10
Dodson: Now their wedding becomes about his daddy issues!!!! Absurd!!!!
Hardy: Belly switches so quickly to accommodate Jere: on Paris, on the wedding, on his guilt over Cabo. -10,000 for Belly
Dodson: Oh, and now it's the kind of wedding Susannah would have wanted, GREAT
Delgado: Not the secretary Adam cheated with planning the wedding???!!!
McNab: +50 for how silly Jeremiah makes Belly, they have so much fun together and I’ll always love that for them, but it's just so ephemeral
Dodson: The scene with Connie and Susannah though, beautiful and so sad. And good tie in with Belly calling out Conrad's hero complex — it's often what other people are asking him to do, as much as it is his own need to be the hero
Dodson: I can't believe we still have six more episodes, I will cry
McNab: I think this was the best episode of the entire series. and I think that’s because it was written and directed by Jenny Han. AND because it was carried by the performance of arguably the best actor on the show, Chris Briney
Season 3, Episode 4: “Last Stand”
Kaitlyn McNab, Culture Editor: This timeline is so accelerated and it’s causing me so much stress. Six weeks until the wedding is insanity.
Sara Delgado, Editor at Large: Six weeks until the wedding is indeed insanity… We just got here
P. Claire Dodson, Associate Culture Director: It's so funny to see Jeremiah at work
McNab: The Jeremiah a nepo baby comment is HILARIOUS, he gets -10 off rip. Jeremiah gets an additional deduction of -50 for being so incompetent in the office. LMFAOOOOOO
McNab: 15 minutes in and I just want to say I am Team Steven forever
Alyssa Hardy, Style Director: The darkest part of this whole episode is the wedding dress shopping, I'm sorry. Like the dress is very nice but the the energy is rancid! “Am I crazy or is this a slay?!” from Taylor's mom and "Let's just find the dress" from Belly before a dress that she feels whatever about ON HER BIRTHDAY.
Dodson: +1 point to Jere for trying to mend things with Laurel with the flowers and group hug… but it's so clearly not enough
McNab: Jeremiah +10 for showing up for her on her birthday, and ANOTHER IMMEDIATE -50 for making Belly’s birthday about the wedding, again.
Delgado: Belly is being so immature. If she’s so sure, why the hell can’t she wait a year and just find middle ground with Laurel? -10
Dodson: No, great point. +50 to Laurel for drawing the clear line between Steven's accident reminding them of Susannah's death & Jelly's clear codependency in grief!!
McNab: Belly -1,000. Moving out to go to Cousins? Be so FR. What about your waitressing job, girl? Who is paying for this wedding???
Delgado: At least we are back at the beach house…
Delgado: I’m sorry, but it’s weird for Belly and Conrad to have this much tension after 4 years. The book time-jump makes them more sensible, but this is… -5 for each, I guess.
McNab: Conrad +100 for being honest and declining co-best man and calling this sham marriage ridiculous — which it is, for the record! (The irony of these two dummies — Belly and Jere — watching Speed in the pool, omg)
Delgado: Belly trying to take back Paris because she is now engaged!? I am sorry, she is acting dumb. -100 Not Jere showing his truly colors about Paris!!! Retroactively losing 10,000 points for that.
Dodson: -5,000 to Belly and Jeremiah for the whole Paris scene.... These two are killing me, and especially Jeremiah revealing how he really felt which is: ownership over her time and his needs above all else
McNab: Belly -10,000,000,000,000,000,000 for canceling Paris. She is literally fulfilling Laurel’s prophecy, and -100,000 for Jeremiah for co-signing that.
Delgado: Jeremiah trying to recite back what he overheard in the meeting had me crying. No thoughts, just holding the water jug
Dodson: Weaponized incompetence
Delgado: You are so right. Denise leaving immediately — valid
Dodson: The fact that he wants a pat on the back for remembering his dad's latte
Delgado: “I’m proving that I’m an adult” — how so my guy? By clocking in and disassociating?
Delgado: Taylor and Steven just need to get back together. They don’t have a scoreboard, but Steven should get +1,000 for helping with the salon mess.
Delgado: Wow! Belly and Conrad hug, +10 for both of them. Omg, Connie POV incoming!? Connie also gets +1 points for that needle drop with Billie Eilish
McNab: Conrad +100,000,000,000 for staying for Belly’s happiness, and that Conrad voiceover peek, hate it for him, but his heart is just so… God bless him.
Season 3, Episode 3: “Last Supper”
Honestine Fraser, Senior Social Manager: Belly and Jeremiah are down -50 pts after this episode, lol
Sara Delgado, Editor at Large: Jeremiah gets -100 for that tiny ring and proposing when she is wearing no pants. You thought he’d nail the do-over but guess not!
Kaitlyn McNab, Culture Editor: Belly gets -10 for thinking she’s defending Jere by outing their marriage at the extremely wrong place and wrong time. When Steven told them to read the room, I was crying
Alyssa Hardy, Style Director: “Is it a diamond or a sliver of tinfoil” will go down in history.
P. Claire Dodson, Associate Culture Director: Best needle drop… “No Surprises” by Radiohead. I do love the image of Conrad just standing there as we zoom out
McNab: I’m really rooting for Conrad’s growth this season, so he gets -5 for being avoidant enough to miss his MOTHER’S memorial because of stupid Belly. And he gets an additional -5 because he forced out that blindingly painful “little sis”
Fraser: I'll give him two points for disassociating at the table while everyone was arguing because that's so real, lol
Dodson: Oh God, the “lil sis”! I wanted to gouge my eyes out. Also -1,000 to that dad
Aiyana Ishmael, Associate Editor: Him threatening Jeremiah to not give him their wedding ring like he’s not also a cheater… the ring needs to disappear
Delgado: -10 for Jeremiah for ordering the same expensive option as his dad on Laurel’s tab
McNab: Honestly, Adam sucks. Worst character on the show
Ishmael: In the show currently, Belly is what? 20, 21? Trying to decide how much grace she deserves for being so ridiculous
McNab: 20 turning 21
Ishmael: OK yes, so unable to legally drink. Got it. Yeah, she gets a pass
Dodson: She's in kind of an impossible situation, and granted she put herself in it, but still… she's trapped
Ishmael: I’d argue Susannah put her in it (don’t fight me)
Delgado: She 100% did, telling her she was destined for one of them….
Fraser: Right, because while I'm watching I'm just like... does Belly know… she can date people other than two brothers, lol
Ishmael: I feel like Susannah would’ve vocally been like “Be with Conrad,” and since Belly respected Susannah's opinion of her love life, she would have
Fraser: Can we also just go back to the ring because I just can't get over it, lmao. It looked like a prize you get from a gumball machine
Dodson: Very reminiscent of the Cabo bracelet — not well thought out at all
Fraser: There's a theme going on here ^^ Also, I understand why he said it, but Adam saying he wasn't gonna give Jeremiah Susannah's ring was so unnecessary. Can we have a Loser of the Week for this? It's Adam, and probably for the rest of the series
Hardy: Conrad just staring straight through his wispy bangs at the mess
Fraser: Like he flew across the country… for THIS? lol
Season 3, Episode 2: “Last Christmas”
P. Claire Dodson, Associate Culture Director: Episode 2 picks up with the aftermath of the Jelly breakup, news of Steven's car accident, and we find out what happened between Conrad and Belly in that Christmas scene from the trailer
Honestine Fraser, Senior Social Manager: Conrad is up 5 points and gets MVP of the week for helping with the Steven thing
Dodson: Agree with points for Conrad calling in a hospital favor, meanwhile American health care system down 100,000 points for needing favors to provide adequate health care
Sara Delgado, Editor at Large: Team Conrad, using his Stanford connect to make sure Steven gets the best treatment, which puts Belly at ease
Dodson: Also, finally Taylor turning on Jeremiah!!! We love to see it. When she tells him, “You were supposed to be the ideal" and it parallels with Belly saying “You were supposed to be the one person who never hurt me and now you're the person who hurt me the most.” Yikes
Kaitlyn McNab, Culture Editor: I paused the television and screamed like someone punched me in my stomach when Jeremiah said he f*cked that girl twice. I hate MEN
McNab: But sorry, I love when men beg, so when he got on his knees I was pleased, +1
McNab: BUT! Do not propose to me — WITH NO RING — when my brother almost died 10 feet away from where we’re standing and because you felt bad for cheating on me and lying to me
Fraser: I do love to see a man begging on his knees out of desperation, lmao
Fraser: -100,000 points for proposing to Belly out of guilt for what he did
Fraser: Also Belly and Conrad got a Sufjan Stevens song while Belly and Jere got Benson Boone, and that says a lot, lol
Alyssa Hardy, Style Director: I was so mad when she accepted the proposal. You are free from his demonic fake nice clutches
Hardy: Unrelated, the makeup they put on her when she was sad was so funny. Like, she's not dying
Fraser: OMG, it was giving Bella when she was sitting in front of the window in New Moon, lol
McNab: Jeremiah is not fake nice, I will stand by that!!!
Hardy: KAITLYN... we're fighting!
Dodson: Unrelated, but I'm also really enjoying Agnes and Conrad's friendship and her actually solid perspective…. +5 to Agnes
Delgado: Team Conrad for Christmas Day, picking her up after she injured herself falling from the stairs and making sure she is doing fine <3
Dodson: Also the Sufjan song!! And seeing what their life together would look like, day-to-day, quietly!! Team Conrad +50
Season 3, Episode 1: “Last Season”
P. Claire Dodson, Associate Culture Director: So who is treating Belly the best in this episode? How happy does she seem?
Kaitlyn McNab, Culture Editor: I know we're not deducting points, but Belly should lose points for applying to college for a boy
Honestine Fraser, Senior Social Manager: To me, Belly lost 10 points for considering not going to Paris for Jeremiah
Dodson: Maybe we should just allow point deductions….
Alyssa Hardy, Style Director: When Belly has a brief moment of happy knowing she can go to Paris before she starts thinking of Jere… Team Belly
Hardy: But Team Conrad for treating her the best, not going to Belly because she considered not going to Paris, and obviously NOT Jere
Sara Delgado, Editor at Large: Team Jeremiah gets a point for when he was supportive of her going to Paris… but then he ruined it 10 minutes later with the whole cheating scandal, so minus 10,000
Dodson: Watching the episode in the park with fans was so funny when he was supportive, they all were, like, stunned and applauding his rare moment of maturity…. +5 points
Fraser: Jeremiah is still not even on the scoreboard right now.
Dodson: Any thoughts on the hotness metric?
Fraser: Team Belly, when calling Jeremiah out during the Cabo fight, +10
Hardy: Team Conrad (I would put Belly but they really do her dirty with some outfits)
McNab: I just need it to be known that I still am not Team Conrad, but most of my issues with him have been fixed by the old healer of all things: time (a.k.a. the time jump)
Dodson: +5 to Conrad for finally using the l-word about Belly, even just to Agnes. And another 10 for going to therapy
Delgado: Least annoying person right now… Conrad atm but because he’s away from the drama still
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