Walking onto the street in front of my hotel in Lisbon, Portugal, I apply some lip gloss as I desperately try to flag down my Uber. I’m feeling frazzled and now a bit nervous, because I’m running late to a first date with a tall, mustached man I matched with on Tinder. He’s waiting for me at a beach across the bridge to watch the sunset and eat octopus — his idea — and all I could think was, “Have I ever had such a romantic first date back home?”
I don’t live in Lisbon. I don’t even live in Europe. But there I was, pacing along a Portuguese beachside walkway against an orange sky, looking for my date. And looking for better luck than what I'm finding at home.
The current era of dating is plagued with swiping fatigue, viral bad date stories on TikTok, and the monster known as the “situationship” — an overused term for any non-committal romantic relationship. The question on a lot of young people’s minds these days is, “Is dating this bad everywhere?” And, like me, they’re trying to find out while they’re away from home.
According to Tinder, the app had its highest global usage of its Passport feature in July 2025 — peak travel season — with 20% of Passport users being aged 18-24. The feature allows people to swipe in places they aren’t physically in. One of the biggest usages coincided with the start of Bad Bunny’s residency in Puerto Rico, also beginning in July. That’s how I really ended up on that bridge in Lisbon. Tinder had flown me to three cities to test out the Passport feature, allowing me to also investigate whether the grass really is greener when dating in a new city, or if it’s more about who we are on vacation and the freedom associated with this kind of no-pressure dating.
For Shahrzod “Shahr” Soltanirad, a 26-year-old from Columbus, OH, dating in a new city is mostly a way to shake her out of her dating doldrums.
“It’s kind of like having a boyfriend in that city,” she tells me from a rooftop pool at The Hoxton Hotel in Chicago. She explains that she often dates while solo-traveling because the men she meets back home in Ohio have become “a little bit repetitive.”
“I get tired of the overall vibe of like, ‘What are we?’ on the first and second date,” she says.
A major appeal of dating while traveling is the lack of expectations on both ends. The pressure of a possible long-lasting future together is typically off the table in these situations, since most people aren’t keen on the prospect of a long-distance romance.
But what happens when you meet someone you like for longer than the duration of your visit? Loren Marshall, a licensed professional counselor from Tulsa, Oklahoma, visited New York City for a week in the springtime with the intention of seeing some friends and to celebrate getting her master’s degree. She downloaded Tinder, ready to enter her “messy hookup era,” when she met Emily. Both Loren and Emily had no expectations since they lived in different states, but more than two years later, they’re still in a relationship.
“We joke and say we went on one date and just never stopped,” Loren tells me. She also reveals that she keeps the receipt from their first date on her fridge. “About a month after we first met, we met up in Chicago, both cried in the airport terminal saying goodbye, and the rest is history.”
Long-distance, though, isn’t for everyone. I’ve personally felt the complications and pain that come with living far away from your partner and know firsthand how much effort it takes.
“Long distance is kind of communication trial by fire,” Loren says. “You miss a lot of nuance through text, phone calls, and video chat. Both partners have to be super intentional with time and connection.”
While I was in Chicago checking out the city’s dating scene, Shahr and I got to talking after I came back from a daytime date with a man we'll call Brandon*, a native Illinoisian who offered to take me around the waterfront during the air and water show.
I tell Shahr about my date, which included lobster tacos at a restaurant on the beach, riding bikes along Lake Michigan, and a friendly hug goodbye after Brandon gave me tips for places to go in Chicago. We both agree that part of the fun of finding someone native to the city is like getting an unofficial tour guide while on a trip.
Carly Cassidy, a 28-year-old artist from New York, said that when she uses dating apps while traveling, she’ll add in exactly what she’s looking to see and do in her profile.
“Based on where I am, if there’s a site I want to see or activity [I want to do], I incorporate it in my profile,” she says. “If a match just wants to bypass that to get a drink late at night, I usually pass.”
Bill Pawlowski, a 35-year-old from Brooklyn, tells me how he often travels for work and found that dating apps are the best way to find someone to spend time with under a time constraint. “It felt like such a waste spending my evenings on the road watching Family Guy in my hotel room,” he says. “The best way to get to know a new place is to go out with someone from there.”
He also said that the dates tend to be “more fun” because “everyone is aware that we’re on a timer,” which avoids any overanalyzing that may come with dating in your own town. In my own traveling dating experiences, I found myself less inclined to overthink before the first date, or the second date if we hit it off. I’m not thinking about how compatible we are. I’m not picturing our future. I can just be present and only consider if I’m having fun with them in that moment.
During my stop in Seattle, Washington, I ended up spending the majority of my time with a man I’ll call Jack*. Our first date was not Earth-shattering. I was cranky and tired from the flight, he was excited about his day off after a stressful work week, and our difference in moods definitely caused some clunkiness.
The next day, I was apprehensive about seeing him again and wondered if I should try to go on a date with someone else to round out the Seattle experience. But something told me to see Jack again for a dinner date, and we ended up having the best time together. I thought about how I might have gone about this differently back at home, maybe giving in to my hesitations and not making time in my busy schedule to see him again. But the traveling version of me didn’t overthink it, and it worked in my favor.
It seems that this mentality can be enticing for most busy, overworked people when they’re traveling. It’s not the time to search for your future spouse; it’s about finding someone to spend a few days with while visiting a city. In these different places, I wasn’t looking at potential matches with my usual type in mind, or avoiding dealbreakers I normally have. At home, I don’t typically swipe on anyone in an ethically non-monogamous relationship since I myself am monogamous. But while I’m traveling, I don’t have a preference. All I wanted was for them to guide me to a good date spot, have some interesting conversation, and flirt a little.
“I am able to enjoy people I wouldn’t consider dating [at home] because we’re not compatible for a serious relationship,” McKenne Moore, a comedian and content creator, says. “But on a vacation, you only need to be compatible for the duration of your trip, so it allows for some fun.”
McKenna says she met someone in London some years ago, with whom she ended up staying in touch and seeing again. But ultimately, she knew there would be a natural end.
While most single people can find joy in the carefree nature of dating while traveling, the downside to that is feeling “objectified,” Cassidy says, even if it’s “in a beautiful country and by a man with an accent.”
That’s something I had to reconcile with as I traveled to these cities: I’m a young woman spending a short period of time in this place, which can often translate to looking for a casual night of sex. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting that, I did tread lightly with the matches who made it clear they wanted to be promised sex, as I felt it would put me in an uncomfortable situation. I unmatched several people with overtly sexual messages and tried to stick with people who actually made plans to get to know me.
Safety is a big concern among people who use dating apps, especially while they’re away. When I’ve gone on dates in foreign countries and cities, I always make sure a friend has my location and that I check in with them during the date to let them know I’m okay. Cassidy says that while she was living abroad in Spain, she was assaulted at a party she attended with a dating app match. After her traumatic encounter, Cassidy says she went back on dating apps to regain her “sense of agency” and heal with the “amicable friendships” she made while traveling.
“Being on dating apps alone doesn’t mean there are any unspoken obligations,” Cassidy says.
Popular dating apps like Tinder and Hinge have built in their own safety features within the app to help curb predatory behavior and harassment. Both apps have photo verification for users, along with an option to video chat before meeting in person. Tinder also has a warning for LGBTQIA+ users when they travel to destinations that are discriminatory. “While in these areas, LGBTQIA+ member profiles won’t automatically appear in the app; instead, there is the option to manually make your profile public or private,” Tinder’s policy reads.
Aside from staying vigilant with my safety, I also wanted to make sure I was looking for someone who was respectful — even with the fun and casual nature of dating while traveling. Matchmaker and Tinder’s dating expert Devyn Simone gave me some tips on what to avoid while swiping.
“If you're looking for something real and with depth, stop swiping right on people who have nothing written in their bios,” Simone says. “I don't care how hot they are.”
Simone explained that anyone who can’t take the time to fill out a “few basic lines” isn’t going to put in any real effort for a date. “There's such a huge net of fabulously single people. You don't have to lock yourself in to try and change someone to be the one,” she continues.
When it comes to building your profile, Simone says selecting photos with natural light is crucial. Skip the myriad of dark selfies, “blurry photos of your cat,” and try to choose photos that showcase your personality.
On my own profile, a photo of me leaning out of a window in Paris gets a lot of traction, as does one of me sitting on a California beach during sunset. Simone says that those show off my “vibe” more than the mirror selfies I seem to enjoy. She also warned against a certain photo I had in a leather corset, if I didn’t want to attract those people who were on dating apps solely for hook-ups.
Before I set out to test the dating pool in different cities, I had come off of a disappointing summer of trying to find love. While I had fun and explored a few new crushes, there are only so many bad dates, mixed messages, and dating advice videos I fall prey to before I get bogged down. Meeting new people in different cities brought some fun back into my life and gave me a lightness I desperately needed.
This wasn’t the first time I was snapped out of my dismissive attitude about dating after traveling. I spent a week between Paris and Dublin last year that included a few very fun dates, and when I came back home from the trip, I was reinvigorated. I immediately hopped on Hinge and went on a date with someone the day after I landed. We dated for seven months.
It feels like it isn’t about those people you meet, but more about having a lighthearted connection for a short period. I’ll never regret walking hand-in-hand with a man who speaks five languages along a beach in Portugal. Or watching ships pass in the Seattle harbor with an enthusiastic doctor. Or learning about the film scene from a charming actor in a pub in Dublin. Each encounter can provide this enriching experience you need without the pressure of finding this mythical forever person. We’re often so focused on the desire for romantic, long-lasting love that we forget how important these small moments can be for our individual growth.
On the downside, I left these cities longing for more time with the people I had met there. I gave myself permission to let my mind wander into a fantasy where we see each other again, maybe this time in my city, and explore our connection further. But the second I landed back at JFK Airport in New York City, I snapped back to reality. This time, with a smile on my face and a new city I wanted to return to.
